A word is dead
when it is said,
some say.
I say it just begins
to live that day.
—Emily Dickenson (1830–1886)
Truth is vast and complex, but “What is truth?” as Pilate famously asked roughly two thousand years ago. Rather than attempt to define it, it may be easier to see how it is expressed. Understanding our personal truth expressions is a good place to start.
Difficulties in understanding can arise with even the simplest of truth expressions. To illustrate, suppose a daughter comes home from high school and says to her mother, “I hate school.” It is easy to imagine scenarios in which her mother might respond in any of the following ways:
1. Really, I liked school.
2. We all have to do things we don’t like. Do you think I like going to work?
3. We all have to do things we don’t like, but to get a good job, you’ve got to stick it out.
4. I understand. Your test didn’t go that well today?
5. I know dearest, but you’ll find a friend.
6. It’s been a difficult month. Let’s go shopping and maybe talk about it.
7. No words. Just a hug.
“I hate school,” is a simple declarative statement. If taken literally using standard definitions of hate and school, the daughter feels a “strong dislike” for an “institution for the instruction of children or people under college age.” In that case the first response would be reasonable. It would be like the daughter saying, “I hate squash,” and the mother’s responding, “Really? I like squash.” The daughter might reasonably return, “Well, that’s good to know,” and head off to her room.
The second and third responses add a parental dimension to the context while broadening the focus of what the daughter might actually mean by school. Maybe school simply stands for something the daughter doesn’t want to do but must.
The fourth and fifth responses keep the parental dimension and narrow the focus of what the daughter might mean by school to particular types of events and happenings there.
The sixth response broadens the context to include concerns that may not surface until the mother lovingly sits and talks with her daughter.
The seventh response suggests that nonverbal gestures are often the most appropriate responses.
In each case we would have known much more had we seen their facial expressions and heard the intonations during the exchanges.
