As so often happens, the decisions we must make reflect circumstances beyond our control. Walter loses money his first year of farming; salaries are not increased at Margaret’s school. Here we see Walter and Margaret finding the needed faith and trust in God and in each other to move on with their lives.
(3/14 176) Walter, I just heard over the radio a talk by a speaker of the Farmer’s Union. He said if a certain bill passed Congress it would mean the president could enlist all men between the ages 26 [and] 31 in waging warfare. I do hope it doesn’t pass. I can’t stand to think of you’re fighting. It almost makes me feel like crying or else [writing] to the president to tell him that he can’t have you. … I have read over several of your letters, and I realize that the reason you are undecided about our being married this fall is because of maybe a lack of funds. I know that you are trying hard with God’s help to make the money that you have stretch to the nth degree, and you are praying that the cattle and potatoes may bring you enough so that you will have enough money to buy a ring, pay for a picture, and to supply you with running expense money during the summer. I know that you love me, and I know that you long for the time when we may be together in a home of our own. I am sorry that I wrote the way I did in the last letter.
(3/23 192) This afternoon as I sat on the rake (I was raking thistles in a stubble field), the words of one of our most beautiful hymns came to my mind. Not only that God has not forsaken us but that He is actually cheering for us, hoping that we will win the crown of life. The words are from the hymn (All the way My Savior leads me). “Cheers each winding path I tread.” I do not have a hymnal over here at my place so I cannot look to see if those are the right words or not, but it is something like that. They say that the cheering of the spectators is a great help to athletes in any contest. It made me feel good this afternoon to think that God is cheering for you and [me]. … Margaret; sometimes the uncertainty of so many things kind of bothers me. It is without doubt best this way, but I should like to know what my cattle will bring and the potatoes and whether or not it will be enough to make possible our marriage in the near future. I am glad that God’s word and all things pertaining to His kingdom are certain and sure. It must be awful for the atheist when the uncertainties of this world overwhelm him. I do not know what I would do if I could not turn to God. I wish I could say for a certainty that I would have enough money to buy the things we would need so that you would not need to look for a teaching contract. It must be God’s will, though, for He has been very good to us. Let us put our trust wholly in God and seek His will, thru prayer. He will teach us how to pray and give us the desire and strength to come to Him often. … It was nice of the juniors to respect your wishes by not asking you to the dance. I wish I had a lot of time to help young people find worthwhile things to do. If God wills it, I hope to do well enough farming so as to hire some work done and allow me some time to work with young boys especially. Please pray for this, Margaret.
(3/26 198) I found out that none of us teachers got a raise in salary. I guess funds are getting quite low for educational purposes. If it is so that I am to teach here another year, that will be all right because I enjoy it here. I enjoy teaching, too, but I would rather be with you. May God’s will be done.
(3/29 203) I have loaded my cattle today, and tomorrow I will go to Denver to see how they sell. We send them to commission houses at the stockyards who take them over and sell them, charging a commission for the service. Elmer Nelson (Helen Nelson’s brother) helped me drive them to Eaton where we loaded them on a freight car. It was chilly and windy today and no fun to ride a horse, but we had no trouble aside from freezing a little. … I am also sorting potatoes now and working in the field. The price on potatoes is up a little, so they will help to pay some of the expenses. The way it looks now, according to my books, I would have been $500 to the good if I had not farmed at all this year. But last year was good, and next year may be, so I cannot kick. … You probably do as I do, hear rumors of war and talk of war. Please do not worry too much about it. Margaret, we are not sure of anything now, it seems, except one thing: If we are in Christ then no harm can befall us. Of course there will be dark moments and even times of oppression, perhaps. This will be especially true if we are drawing near to the End, and though we do not know for sure, yet the times seem to me to be pointing that way. The persecution of the Jew is certainly almost an unmistakable sign. Then the rising of the dictatorships will also bear watching. … So again, I say, go to God often; pray for me, Margaret, and if it be God’s will that we be united in this world, may we walk in His way together, and tho things may arise which will prevent our union, it will still be my wish to find you in Heaven when I get there.
(3/30 260) Mr. Thorson had a faculty meeting this evening just before supper. We got our contracts. In the contract there is a clause that states it may be returned anytime before August the first. I signed mine. Maybe it will be best for me to teach one more year. I think that next year I would be a better teacher. He said that the board just didn’t have the money to raise the salaries, but if the legislature helps the educational system more next year, the board will raise the salaries. … Walter, let’s memorize the hymn “All the Way My Savior Leads Me.” I know most of it, but I need to relearn it. I think that [it] should be sung at our wedding whenever we have it, be it this year or next. I had never thought of it in the light that you mentioned, but I see that that interpretation could be made. … Walter, I feel sorry that you are having to work so hard and then are uncertain as to your gaining anything from selling your cattle and potatoes. I surely am glad you like the place where you work. Now, I am afraid it is because I have not prayed over this as I should have. I am not used to praying about the stock market. I always just took it for granted.… Walter, I don’t think we should need so much money to live on. We wouldn’t need to have such expensive furniture. I believe you are the type that when you have the money, you would see to it that [it] is used to the best advantage for the things that are needed. I think it would be fun to buy some furniture that is absolutely necessary and then look around for bargains and good material to be purchased when more money is on hand. We wouldn’t be exactly penniless.
(3/31 265) For I have sold my cattle, and tho my prayer was that I might make money on them, yet I always asked that I might be given grace to say, Thy Will be done. … Although I stand to lose about 150 dollars on my cattle, yet they pay all I owe the bank with a little left over. My potatoes will help pay all other debts, and I believe I will have a little money left for running expenses. … Margaret: Do you suppose God uses this way to help me learn how to take care of money and myself? I have never run around much, “not that I boast of it,” but if money comes easy, I am prone to spend it easily and quickly. Perhaps God is granting just enough to supply my need.… I cannot help but feel that all things will work out well yet and that we can carry out our plans. I will not quit. In fact, I only start when the going gets tough! I suppose that is a boast, but I feel that way. I have lost two times on cattle. The law of averages says I win next time.
(4/6 285) It is rather late, but since I didn’t send the letter I had ready to mail, I shall write another. Walter, I appreciate your frankness. I am ashamed of myself. You see and weigh the problems of the future more than I, which I admire but cannot put into action. I am just not ready yet to be a married woman, and so it is all working out fine. … It surely is fine that you are going to be able to pay your debts. There are too many who do not fulfill their obligations. It seems when one gets behind, it is almost impossible to catch up. If you are so loving toward your mother, I do not fear that you will be different to mine. Walter, I know that it is discouraging to not do all that one plans. … You have such high ideals that I can’t understand how God thought of letting me be engaged to you. Your ideals are Christian through and through, and now you regret that you offered me that which you cannot fulfill. I am glad that you are telling me now and not waiting to let me find out that after we are married. I believe if all men would do the same there would be less divorce. Well, we thru Christ shall be faithful to one another thru cloud and sunshine. … Our earthly home fades into oblivion when we think of the Home in heaven. If Christ should happen to come before we are united, we will not remember our disappointment in not having a home together. I am so happy that you love me with a pure love, so what care I if we have to wait? May I be ready when my bridegroom comes from Colorado for me.
(4/9 294) Walter, it isn’t any rush, it seems, to get married, so I really don’t have any questions to ask. I am so tired right now that what I am writing doesn’t have much meaning. I am beginning to think that farming is very uncertain. I am just wondering if it is best to wait; it might turn out the same way next fall and next spring so that we couldn’t get married then, either, if we wait because of money. Maybe, too, that waiting such a long time isn’t good for me or for you either. I believe that we could really live for a whole year on very little if we tried. I believe that God will supply what we lack. I have just been wondering if your folks are against your marrying this year. Well, be that as it may, I don’t believe we should get married without your parents’ willing consent, so I am willing to wait. … Walter, I can’t understand why you worry about having too strong a desire for me. I am certain you don’t. You say you love me, and I believe you, and that’s all there is, so don’t worry about it. If there is anything else we had better forget about one another, which will be impossible for me, but God can give me the needed strength for that too. There is a nook for me to fill, I am sure.
(4/16 322) Dear Margaret: “He is not here; for he is risen, even as he said” Matthew 28:6. This morning as I write, I can hear robins and many other varieties of birds singing, and their joy is catching, and perhaps they have caught some of mine.… I wish you were here, Margaret, to behold the beautiful sunrise, the drifting clouds, green lawn, and alfalfa fields. I have not been in the mts. yet this year. When you are here, we shall go as often as possible, for drives and picnics.… How did the glee clubs work in the contest? I suppose you are worrying about the state contest now. It is not wrong to be concerned in anything we do and also to strive to do it well, but if we trust in God, He will carry the worries better than we can
(4/17 356) My Dear Margaret: “Pilate said unto them, Ye have a guard; go, make it as sure as you can.” Matt. 27:65.… The thot never occurred to me before, but there were those in that day who actually feared that Christ might rise again, Matt 27:63. At the same time, the ones who had been near him during his ministry were fearing that he would not rise again, even though he had told them that he would.… How careful we should be of all our thots and decisions. Pilate thot for a moment, and his decision was to crucify the Savior. … A few brief years of power and then even that taken away from him.
(4/20 375) My dear Walter, “Be ye also ready: for an hour that ye think not the Son of Man cometh.” Luke 12:4. This is Wednesday night, nearly eleven o’clock, but I want to speak a little to you before falling asleep. I found the above verse which always seems so searching for me whenever I read it. How wonderful God is to give us this warning. He truly wants us to be with Him. May He ever be with us! I received your letter this evening which mentioned about your family reunion at Eastertide. We haven’t had one for a long time. It seems the only times we gather is at the saying farewell to some member of our family. Death has been reaping in our midst. Since the Savior has seen fit to call them Home, I can’t help but rejoice that they were ready in the hour when He called.
(4/21 380) The fields are greening rapidly now. It is beautiful to be out in them. [The] Browns have been planting flowers and cleaning up the yard. It really looks very nice. When it gets some greener, I shall take a picture and send to you. I finished planting barley today. Tomorrow I will plow irrigation ditches in the grain and hay, and after that I will start plowing for potatoes and beans. You probably will understand this better a few years from now, for I want you to know and will help you all I can. I got my soil conservation check from the govt. yesterday, and it was much better than I had planned for. I thot I would get about $40 but I got $82.15. It paid for some bean seed and hay that I had to have for the horses. They are fat and stand the work very well. I like to be around them and work with them. They seem and are so understanding and loyal. One especially just loves humans and will come to them whenever possible.
(4/24 392) Margaret, you are up against a hard question, and I want to help you. I believe I can help you from here just as much as I could if I were there, for I shall pray God to guide you and direct your decisions. I refer to the question Mr. Thorson asked you, whether or not you would teach another year. It is easy to look ahead until Nov. and say, “Maybe it won’t turn out so well with the crops, and I had better teach until we have enough money to be sure of our needs.” Now God says not to be anxious of the morrow. Now in these uncertain times, it is impossible to know anything about anything in Nov. except that it will come if God lets us have that much grace of time. … Of course I could be entirely wiped out as far as money goes. It could happen. But if things just go in the ordinary way, I feel I have a pretty good start in my occupation. Weigh these carefully, Margaret, but remember that God will help us and [that] we must live by faith and in hope. I think you fear that I would feel that you were a burden unless I had as much money as I wished to have and have sometimes planned to have.… But if you would rather wait and be more certain, I do not blame you at all. I love you and pray for you. I know you will be guided by him. I think you will be required to make a decision pretty soon, and I will be with you in prayer and in Christ. We can set a date later on, can we not?
(4/28 400) Walter, you surely can read me like a book. I can’t understand it. I am glad that you have that book-reading gift in regard to human nature. You guessed right when you said I felt that [I] was afraid that I would be hindering you from experiencing the completion of your plan in regard to having a good financial standing before getting married. I am glad that you think that maybe with frugal living we could get along all right, but maybe it wouldn’t be best.
(5/4 412) Sometime and somehow, I shall manage to come to see you this summer. I want to place that ring upon your finger and talk with you and walk with you, and together we may talk and walk with Him who has led us this far and who ever cares for us.…Could you speak privately to Mr. Thorson, asking him if it would be all right for you to accept or reject your contract by the 5th of Aug?… I have now borrowed 2 hundred dollars, paid all my debts, got all my seed and feed, and have over 30 dollars to go on for a while. I can get at least 500 dollars if I need it for my summer expenses (200 + 300 more). If I need more I could get it because the banker asked me if I was sure that that was all I needed.… Though last year was a poor year as a whole, this farm paid me over $2500; of course I had to pay for all the seed, work, and cost of operation out of that. Last year I planted 600 dollars’ worth of potatoes. This year they are worth about 150 dollars. With a fair year and fair prices, I should do very well, for I can and will cut expenses down a great deal. If these figures are hard to understand and are confusing, just forget them until we see each other. I just put them down to give you an idea of the situation. I do not believe economic conditions will get better, so we had better plan to be married before the next election; for though I may be wrong, I think we shall yet experience a harder depression than the one of 31, 32 & 33.…In hard times a farm is the best place in the world to be. You at least have enough to eat, clothes enough for comfort, and a little money for fuel.
(5/17 416) I haven’t spoken to Mr. Thorson about next year. I just don’t know what to do. It seems that you are encouraged about the crops and your banking account. I feel just like coming back next year, but I would like to teach nearer home, but then again I get lonesome to be with you, and I feel that maybe if we wait, we don’t know what might happen; if something would happen to break our engagement, I don’t believe I could stand it, but God, of course, can supply all my needs in His own way and own time.
