It’s winter in Washburn, North Dakota as Margaret walks more than a mile to and from School. She enjoys opening her mailbox and seeing a letter from Walter and recalling his saying that she would have a ring “As soon as God lets me have the means to get it.” (His
1/22 letter.) That joy fades as the winter wears on and Walter struggles financially. In her
4/4 letter, she writes, “I am the type of person that can be with a person a while but then I someway lose their love.”
(3/6 155) While in Bismarck Saturday I bought some things. Among them was a purser perfume bottle, as they called it. I’ll put some of it on this page so that you can have some of the fragrance too. … Walter, I appreciate that you dislike teasing. I don’t like it either. There are so many wonderful things happening in the world that one can talk about, and then I think speaking more of God and His gifts to us that one will not wish to spend time in a useless stream of nonsense talking. … How is Mr. Brown overcoming his liquor-drinking habit? I hope that he will come to the Savior and He will care for that problem. I get rather afraid when I think of having a drunkard so close by, but they are near even now.
(3/12 159) The weather is grand: the air is balmy; the sun, shining; the birds, singing; and I am happy. I just heard that there were about three inches of water above the ice, so the river should soon go out. I will be glad to get your picture. Have you had it taken yet? I hope it looks just like you. The ring maybe will reach me before Easter. Walter, sometimes when I think about all what has happened and what will happen if God wills us to be united next fall, I feel sort of weak but happy. I hope you aren’t regretting what happened last Christmas; maybe I led you to do that which you regret, but your letters don’t sound that way. I love you so much, but I am afraid that I can’t do the planning, work, and be of help like a farmer’s wife should. If you can be satisfied with below-average work in regard to speed, completeness, and quality, I will be glad to be your wife. … I haven’t written before because I was waiting for a letter from you. It came last night. I guess you are busier than I realize, and so when I wait for a letter, I forget that there are many more urgent things than to write letters. I know I have wanted to write many times, but I felt that maybe I led you on, altho I didn’t mean to and didn’t realize that it would turn out as it did last fall, so I just haven’t written. Walter, if you don’t want to spend your money for a ring or don’t want to get married next fall, I wish you would say so. I don’t want to have you disappointed in marriage; however, I don’t know how I can stand to live without you. Maybe God just sends these times to me to try me.
(3/14 168) My Dear, I cannot help but feel that you were and have been much worried of late. I certainly want to apologize for not writing oftener and making myself clear. I am a poor letter writer, always in a hurry and taking too much for granted. Now for the first thing that I want to say: As I told you once while we were together in Minn., I have never said one word which I should care to retract or change. I love you more than ever. It may seem that to you that you led me on, but you did not. God led me, and I do thank him for that leading. As far as being sure whether you are the right one or not, of that I am now positive. That was why I would not take you in my arms until I was at least quite sure; in fact, I wanted your promise to be my wife before I did that. How else could I know that it was love and not desire or passion on the part of either one of us? As far as I have gone in seeking a helpmate, God has answered every prayer. Those tender and beautiful moments that every young couple experience are ours to look forward to and not to look back upon. Not only that, but with God’s sanction and blessing, they will be abiding and will not become timeworn. Without God, this cannot be. When I wrote asking whether or not you could get your contract and then break it, I was not putting your love to a test or you upon probation but merely looking forward and preparing for all emergencies. … But all this misunderstanding is all my fault, for not making myself clearer. Margaret, believe me when I say that I love you and long for your companionship and help; I will keep you informed, absolutely correct[ly], on all money matters. I think it right that you should know them. And please remember and believe this, that everything I do will be done to haste[n] the day when we may be united in Christian love and marriage. If God should provide and will it, I should like to be married before fall. … It is absolutely necessary to be prepared and to be in Christ. We may and we may not see the end of all things, but the signs of the times are certainly evident. I suppose you read of Hitler’s seizure of Austria. This and many other events point toward the last days. May we ever be found in Him. … For me it is not necessary to plan an elaborate wedding; in fact, I am inclined to like simplicity in all things. My requirements are not great, and it may be that yours are not either, and in that case we would not need such a vast sum of money. Let us together take our problems to God even tho we are so far apart. Surely He will provide for us.
(3/14 180) Walter, I am glad that you are going to write more often because it gets kind of lonesome not to get letters on certain days. I don’t know why it should make such a difference not to get letters, but it does. I am so happy that I can read that you pray for me. When I am in the midst of teaching, I get more ambition to instruct with love for my pupils when I recall that you intercede for me. … I want you to forgive me for what I wrote. You would please me much if you would burn my last letter to you.
(3/17 182) Thank you for the last letter, Margaret. You need not worry about forgiveness. You had good reason to believe as you did, and the fault was mine. I am so glad that you took it to God and that He revealed the truth to you. It was so good to know that God answered my prayer for peace of mind and heart for you. Margaret, you need never fear in that respect again. You are the only girl I want, and each letter I get adds to my certainty. I am so glad, so glad, that you are a Christian girl, and I think you will have peace of mind & heart from now on. I hope, though, that you will always have a longing for me, and I am sure you will. I, too, long exceedingly much for the day when we may share all things.
(3/19 185) I am so glad, Walter, that you say that you are sure that you want me. I understand now fully that it was because of finances that you weren’t sure if it would be wise to be married this fall. Farming must be a vocation that is dependent on many outside forces. I am glad that you are a good farmer so that if God sends the moisture and favorable weather and directs the market, all will turn out well. … Walter, last Saturday night I read through about twelve of your letters, and I cannot understand how I could get the impression that you no longer wanted us to get married this fall. I know that you love me, but I guess I felt pretty blue when I got to thinking I might have to teach another year and not be with you.
