Nothing more than a glance tells you that the man and the woman in this image are addressing a concern that matters to both of them. But what is it? This musing is a first look into the diversity of the concerns that are foremost in our minds and the varied ways we address them.
Talking It Through
We are always dealing with concerns of one sort or another. Most of the time we address them without so much as a second thought. When we get hungry, we simply get something to eat—if we have enough food. When we get tired at night, we lie down and go to sleep—if we can. When we want to walk around, we usually do—when physically able. However, sometimes a concern so emotionally occupies our minds that we’ve no choice but to address it. These become the personal concerns we later share and discuss with our friends.
Because our personal concerns have a way of involving others, to really tune into the types of things that are personally concerning, try sitting down with some friends and sharing a few times that you got emotionally caught up in something that had to do with you or with someone you loved. The possibilities are endless.
Ever won or lost in a competition for an honor of some sort like a ribbon, a trophy, a job or a position. Ever been particularly satisfied or dissatisfied with the consequences of your physical, academic, artistic or social behavior.
Has your physical or emotional health ever concerned you? Ever been embarrassed by your clothes, car, home, or place to live? Ever been hurt by a case of racial or ethnic profiling? Has the acceptance or rejection by friends or colleagures ever made or ruined your day?
Ever struggled in a dating, marital, parental, or sibling relationship? How about in a employer-employee or teacher-student relationship? Ever worried about how you saw your world or where your world was headed?
Hopefully these questions will bring to mind a few of the many concerns in your life that can be helpfully discussed. In recalling a memorable concern, it is important to state what was going on, the nature of the relationships between the people involved, and why it was emotional. If you focus on the relationships of the persons involved without getting into names, the discussion takes on an aspect many find engaging.
Now pick a few to discuss. To make the discussion meaningful, the person recalling the concern (in addition to clarifying what was going on, who was involved, and what made it emotional) must point out the choices that were made, the reasons they were made, and a sense of their consequences.
A discussion of almost any significant personal concern will bring to mind other related personal concerns. Although that brings out the interrelatedness of our concerns, the discussion can quickly devolve into a diversion of concerns that strays from the purpose of this musing—which is to look into the “variety of concerns that are foremost in our minds and the varied ways in which they are addressed.” Try to focus and agree on the vital concerns and the underlying desires that gave rise to the choices that were made and their emotional consequences.
Reflecting Back
What concerns are foremost in your mind?
Who or what do they generally involve?
Any changes in how you see yourself addressing them?
